URALIQUIRKS!
(Part 1?)
Every country has its cultural maxims that set it apart, and Uralica is no different. The blending of the numerous Uralic cultures - whether Finnic, Volga-Finnic, Permic, Samic, Ob Ugric, Hungarian, or Samoyedic - with Russian, Canadian, American, and Mennonite cultures has made for some very interesting and unique cultural pointers in Uralica.
Language
Uralica has its own distinct dialect of three of its four national languages, and it's expected Uralican Hungarians will eventually develop their own as well.
Uralican Standard Russian varies from "Russian proper" (its name in the NCIS) very little, but one thing that is definitely noticed is the fact that word-final "o" and "e" are always pronounced, whether they are stressed or not. This is partially under the influence of "if it's written, pronounce it fully" Finnish, but is also a carryover from Volga Basin Russian, which has speakers in Russia (and to a lesser extent Ural-Altai). Some borrowings exist in Uralican Russian that don't in Russian proper. One thing that is not a carryover from Volga Basin Russian is the pronunciation of "я" as /æ/ rather than /ja/, ё as /ø/ rather than /jɔ/, and ю as /y/ rather than /ju/, and this tends to mark the Russian of Karelia, especially amongst L1 Finnish and Karelian speakers.
In terms of words, of course there are regionalisms unique to Uralica, typically having to do with one's occupation. The suffix -nik gets some extra mileage in Uralican Russian, with words like the following:
- yazyknik "polyglot" - a minimal pair with doublet yazychnik "pagan, polytheist."
- bozhnik "theist" - backformation from bezbozhnik "atheist," and not just contrasting with atheists but also deists.
- Related to the above, odnobozhnik "monotheist" has supplanted the Greek cognate monoteist in Southeast Uralica and southern Permski Rayon.
- lesnik has a more specific meaning in Uralica, meaning a forest ranger - it is a popular football club name at the lower levels. Lesorub is used for loggers.
- lesorabotnik more literally means "forest worker," but in actual usage it's a catchall term for anyone who works in forestry who isn't a logger, including sawmillers, workers at pulp-and-paper mills, and even workers at forest-based biofuel plants.
- retrofitnik has a double meaning. It can either mean someone who specialises in construction using reinforced concrete, or it can refer to someone who manufactures rebars for said reinforced concrete. Uralica exports bare rebars to more earthquake-prone parts of the NCIS such as the Caucasus.
- zheleznik also has a double-meaning. It can mean either someone who works with iron (can be a subtype of metallurg or stroitel') or a rail maintenance worker.
- /g/ as the last consonant in a word often follows the same pattern as /k/ in its weak grade, disappearing completely unless it is between two U's (becomes [ʋ]) or between /h, l, r/ (non-strident continuants) and /e/, when it becomes [j].
- /g/ also follows the same pattern as /k/ before coronal non-continuants, becoming [h]. Probably the most famous example of this is in the fact Uralican Finns call Vologda, "Volohda"
- /d/ as the last consonant follows the same pattern as /t/ in its strong grade. Uralican Finns seem to have a better grip on voicing contrasts than other Finns do!
- they still, however, have trouble distinguishing /b/ from /p/ without training, and as such all /b/s are pronounced as /p/ even if written with "B." So short /p/ will still become [ʋ] in weak grade, even when spelled with "b!"
- Rendering the Russian "ch" is very inconsistent. It is either transliterated as "tš," or rendered as "ts" or even "t," since Finnish doesn't have postalveolar sounds. The transliteration is becoming more common, though, as most Uralican Finns - especially the younger ones - have a good mastery of Russian.
- Probably the most noticeable pronunciation difference is in sequences including "v" and at least one other consonant from Russian, and the Russians notice it! Finnish "V" is an approximant /ʋ/, which is closer to /w/ than the Russian fricative [v], so before another non-sonorant, /ʋ/ becomes [w], so basically the CV sequence turns into a diphthong! This stands in stark contrast to Russian, where in these sequences, the fricative becomes devoiced (because more often than not, the consonant following the "V" is voiceless!) and very often becomes [f].
Because of Finnish's more restricted syllable structure and phonotactics, occasionally a vowel would be added at the end of a name to make it flow better with the language. Not always though.
Uralican Standard English has been described as a "blend of Canadian and Glaswegian accents with a couple extra vowels borrowed from Russian and Finnish." It has also done the most borrowing of the three in terms of common nouns, even if the meaning they take on is somewhat narrower than the original. Examples:
zaliv: a bayside shopping and recreational district. (Meaning in Russian proper: bay, gulf) Note: if you capitalise "The Zaliv," Uralicans will immediately think you're writing about the one in Cheboksary, which is the most famous and was conducive to this borrowing in the first place.
varosh: actually from Hungarian. A slangy term for inner city in English, especially east of the Urals. (Means "city" in general in Hungarian) Usually used in the expression into the varosh.
syytinki: Uralican English took on the /y/ sound from Finnish, so it's popping up more these days. See the Russian entry.
gorodok and posyolok: these two are a fine distinction, but an important one if you're travelling. In the Russian guide to municipal status, a gorodok needs at least five thousand people, at least three churches, and a connection to at least a state highway. A posyolok does not (even though most have it), rather only requiring two thousand people and at least one church (and since this is Uralica, church requirements are never an issue!). "Town" is the only English municipal terminology for which there is not a one-for-one correspondence. (City is gorod, incorporated village is selo, and unincorporated hamlet is derevnya - but the last word has a double meaning in both English and Russian, so be careful!)
yazyknik: A Russian compliment of one's intelligence, especially if you actually do speak a lot of languages! (Yazyk means "language" in Russian)
lumi gloomies: a humorous blend of Finnish and English to give the colloquial nickname for mild seasonal-affective depression (lumi means "snow" in Finnish)
derevnya: in colloquial Uralican English, this means "hick," "hayseed," "bumpkin," etc.
Plus there are some phrases (given here in English) that are more or less the same in all four national languages, that are ones to keep your ears open for:
- Anything about someone speaking many languages - a compliment to one's intelligence
- Monoglot - especially amongst young people, this is actually considered an insult.
- "I don't understand idiot(-speak)" - a rather rude way of telling someone they don't make any logical sense.
- Any reference to Ratta - referring to a remote and quasi-inaccessible place (Ratta is a village in far-eastern Yamalia that is surrounded by dense forest and not accessible by road)
- "Go to Ratta!" - a more polite way of telling someone to go away
- "Like Saami/Samoyeds herding reindeer!" a way of saying something is easy. Variants include "like Mordvins keeping bees" or "like Ojastu over Kirov."
- Numerous ways of expressing large quantities (there are variants on these, too)
- "Like bees in Mordovia" (Mordvins love hearing this one - they are proud of their tradition of beekeeping excellence!)
- "Like wheatstalks in Chuvashia"
- "Like Estonians in Vaahruše"
- "Like kettle lakes in Karelia/Yugra"
- "Like churches/Mennonites in Pazhga"
- "Like politicians in Syktyvkar" (this one is sometimes derogatory)
- "Like reindeer in Yamalia/Nenetsia" (Sapmi doesn't quite work because there aren't as many there!)
- "Like bees in Mordovia" (Mordvins love hearing this one - they are proud of their tradition of beekeeping excellence!)
- Small quantities as well!
- "You'd have better luck finding non-scientists in Franz Josef Land"
- "Fewer X than Babylon has morals"
- "Like sunlight in a North Yamalia winter."
- "Less X than the LTA has patience."
- "You'd have better luck finding non-scientists in Franz Josef Land"
- "Uralic(an) hospitality" You want to hear this. It is never used sarcastically or as double-entendre (although someone might be interested in you if they mention this and they aren't in a hotel!) and Uralicans are known for their hospitality.
- "Now you're speaking my language!" What a Uralican will say when he/she agrees with you. Language idioms abound in Uralican languages!
- "Dude, you need to spend some time in Novaya Zemlya." A very Uralican way of telling you to chill out. You can also substitute "in Yamalia" or "in Nenetsia." DON'T substitute "Franz Josef Land." That is something much ruder.
- "Get to FJL already!" "Go jump in Ladoga!" "I hear they're looking for people in the Rub Al-Khali!" Just a few examples of what you get told when you're trying to start trouble. Uralicans seldom swear, but they know how to get a message across!
- "You're a regular Jephthah, aren't you?" If you do something stupid and/or reckless, you might hear this.
- You'll get called a "Jehu" if you are a reckless or otherwise inept driver.
- "Are you trying to get us stuck (in) here for forty years or something?" Less impatience and more a rebuke of cowardice.
- If a Uralican is getting impatient (which isn't quite as frequent as many nationalities these days), they'd ask, "Who do you think I am? Methuselah?" Other names that could be subbed in include Abraham or Job. Since Jared isn't a very common name in Uralica even amongst Anglos, that one is okay too. It may confuse other non-Uralican Anglos, though.
- "Joshua and Caleb, eat your heart out!" one of several idioms based around these two Old Testament figures; without exception, they are praises of someone being courageous, especially in a tight spot.
- Being called an "Absalom" is not a good thing. In Uralica's largely Judaeo-Christian culture, this is generally reserved for treacherously disobedient children.
- "Judas" is like in English outside of Uralica, but carries more weight. DO NOT CALL SOMEONE THIS LIGHTLY! Even footballers who switch to the cross-town rival are never called this in Uralica!
- "Jezebel" is narrower than non-Uralican English. It carries the sense of being a scheming woman, especially against God or Jews/Christians (and even Muslims use the term), to do them/their cause harm. Unlike non-Uralican English, there are no sexual overtones whatsoever.
- "Gomer" is much, much more insulting to a Uralican than it is in other Anglophone areas. It's as bad as actually calling a woman a whore. Thankfully not used often.
- "Like the Ob in wintertime" is a very Eastern Uralican way of calling someone callous, unfeeling, or romantically unresponsive. In western Uralica, replace that with "Kama" or "Viena."
- That said, "snow queen" or "ice queen" doesn't offend or insult a Uralican woman, especially if they are from the northern half of the country. Uralicans in general are fond of the cold and sometimes "my ice queen" is used as a compliment or term of endearment. Replace "queen" with "king" for men.
- "Thin-blooded" is very insulting, and not just in URalica. Originally designed to refer to a lack of tolerance for the cold, in Uralica, Siberia, Buryatia, Chukotka, Tyva, and northern New Polar Canada, calling someone "thin-blooded" is calling them any combination of weak, spineless, cowardly, and/or useless. Conversely, "thick-blooded" is a compliment, saying someone has fortitude, whether physical, mental, or moral, or all of the above. "Thin-blood" and "thick-blood" are also used as nouns in Uralica specifically.
- All languages besides Finnish have borrowed the word sisu from Finnish. It means fortitude, guts, chutzpah, tenacity, strength and courage, perseverance, audacity, etc. Finns from Finland in particular love to hear this one.
- Even if Russo-Uralics and Russians make up the bulk of Uralica's population, the only swear words that get any mileage in Uralica are the Finnish saatana, perkele, and jumalauta, and the latter is actually not considered too vulgar in Uralica at all. Pahus and its rough English equivalent "curses" are often used as euphemisms for the former, while the English phrase "God help me!" and its Russian and Hungarian equivalents are used thus for the latter.
- Speaking of euphemisms, Uralicans love them. In any of the four national languages, or even in state languages!
- There is still a great hesitance among L1 Russophones to call those of Sub-Saharan African descent chyorny "black," because in Russian proper as a noun, that is more typically reserved as a racial slur for people from the Caucasus or for non-white immigrants, but the Russian proper word sounds too much like an English racial slur (Hungarian has a similar word, which has largely been supplanted by the colour word fekete). The colloquial and neutral term in Uralican Russian is actually mustaykin for men, mustayka for women, and the adjective is mustayskiy - the root musta- is a borrowing from Finnish! (It means "black.") None of the other national languages have this issue because they lack the extra baggage that the Russian word has with its word meaning "black." Black, musta, and fekete respectively are not considered slurs, and people of many ethnicities come to Uralica anyway! (Obviously there are more precise words for ethnicity!)
- Where possible (in other words, where it is known) Uralicans prefer to use one's precise ethnicity in describing what someone is ethnoracially. Don't be afraid to share what it is in Uralica! People will be interested in specifics, because it is a very pervasive belief that diversity of ethnicities is one way God glorifies Himself, and their interest is going to be sincere 99.999% of the time.
- Actual slurs are incredibly taboo. It doesn't matter if the slur is based on race, ethnicity, religion, gender, or sexual habits; if someone were to call someone else such a name in public, it could actually result in a fine. Visiting sports fans could be kicked out of the country for doing it. (Obviously context plays into this a bit.)
- Uralica has an interesting "bill of rights" section in the constitution. It is actually a "bill of rights and responsibilities." If you're wondering why you don't see tabloid magazines or gossip columns in newspapers, this is it. Uralica is a charter member of the international Journalistic Covenant, which is devoted to providing the highest-quality journalism by minimising bias to the extent humanly possible and trying one's absolute hardest to analyse all sides of a situation. Furthermore, there are times that, rather than restraining the right in question, it actually amplifies it, such as in the right to a fair trial with a jury of one's peers. The responsibility there is on the judge and jury, to make sure they have thoroughly assessed all evidence given for and against a crime. To deliberately overlook legitimate evidence is grounds for a mistrial, and falsification of evidence, should it be discovered, carries a harsh penalty - minimum ten years, maximum life in prison, dependent upon the crime for which the falsified evidence was produced. As mentioned earlier, freedom of religion is restricted by a responsibility clause forbidding violent proselytisation or religious-based harassment. There are guidelines on Uralica's constitutional website (uraliconstitution.gov.ur) as to what is considered harassment and what is not.
- Uralica will not allow supremacists of any sort into the country. This is partially because of the responsibility clauses on freedom of speech and freedom of association, and partially because they want in lockstep with the Second and Fourth Turku Protocols.
- Uralica will not allow supremacists of any sort into the country. This is partially because of the responsibility clauses on freedom of speech and freedom of association, and partially because they want in lockstep with the Second and Fourth Turku Protocols.
- Uralica was among the first of a rising number of countries to abandon the notion of political parties. Rather, Uralicans vote in a first-past-the-post system for a direct representative of their interests on the Uralican High Council. The ridings are only partially determined based on population, with urban and rural areas being treated differently in the distribution of seats. Muslims and Jews are allowed to run for office (recognising that it is a Christian country, of course), and some of the most famous Uralican politicians are members of these religious minorities, such as the Jewish Dr. Ovdey Shlomov and the Muslim Akhmetkhan Gubaidulin. There are currently four Muslims and twenty-eight Jews on Council out of the 501-seat council (500 ridings plus the President). (OOC: I'll come up with the ridings list later)
- Uralica holds its elections every five years, and the absolute theoretical maximum any one politician can serve is 40 years, if they were to win presidency three times and then get elected to council a further five. Most politicians don't have any desire to serve that long.
- If you can vote for office, you can run for office. There is universal suffrage from 17 years of age up. To date the youngest office-winner was 20-year-old Hubert Nabokov, who finished second in the Zubu-Umyot riding in the most recent election. Jarkko Salomäki, being 24 when he was named chief and 28 in his first election, is in the top five youngest.
- In spite of the higher standard for urban areas as opposed to rural areas, the City of Yekaterinburg has 36 ridings completely within its city limits, and the Greater Yekaterinburg UA, 54.
- The least-populated riding is Novaya Zemlja-Kolguyev, which barely has four thousand people!
- The most-populated riding is Yekaterinburg-Tsentr, at a whopping six hundred twenty thousand people, more people than the entire city of Berezniki! It is also the most-densely populated, comparable to the likes of Hong Kong or Monaco, and has the tallest average building height, with the massive Eurasia Tower being in the area! It is home to some of the world's tallest residential buildings and parkades as well.
- The largest riding in area is Far East Yamalia.
- The smallest riding in area is Syktyvkar West.
- The minimum population for a "dense urban" riding is 150 thousand, and for a "sparse urban riding," 75 thousand.
- There is no minimum population for a rural riding, which is instead determined either by land spacing (more common in the south) or by geographical contiguity of its settlements (the best examples of this are found in Yamalia, Nenetsia, and Sapmi.)
- Franz Josef Land, being officially unpopulated, is not within a riding. The scientists that work there maintain their mailbox remotely from Naryan-Mar, Nenetsia, and as such vote in the rural riding of West Nenetsia.
- As with the Old (and New) United States, elections fall on the same day every time - May 1st.
- Many of the newer large buildings in Uralica are very modern, the type you'd expect in places like Shanghai, Guangzhou, Hong Kong, Dubai, etc. The buildings in some cities go a step even further in the direction of futurism, as can be seen in places like Yekaterinburg and Kirov. The Eurasia Tower is not only the tallest building in Uralica, but proportionally-speaking, the widest skyscraper in the world, being barely narrower than the Burj Khalifa in spite of being much shorter. Arguably the "most futuristic-looking" buildings in Uralica, though, are found at Kirov International Airport near Strizhi. Bolak Terminal in particular has been described as looking "like something out of a science-fiction movie."
- Old, Soviet-style buildings have been remodelled as, or even demolished and replaced by, more modern and aesthetically-pleasing buildings, typically with the residents being put up in hotels at no extra charge in the interim.
- Smaller high-rise buildings tend to take on a more ethnic flavour, depending on where in the country they are. This is noticeable in some major cities, most obviously Syktyvkar, Yoshkar-Ola, Saransk, Petroskoi, and Cheboksary.
- It is considered somewhat fashionable these days to build one's house at least partially according to one's ethnicity - so Mari houses will have Mari-style carvings as trim, for example. But in general, Uralican house carpenters take much pride in their work.
- Ethnic clothing tends to come out for major festivals. Syktyvkar in particular is known for its colorful festivals on Uralic Day (18 March) where every representatives of every ethnicity in Uralica converge on the Uralic Cultural Centre and participate in traditional dances and workshops on artisan craftmaking.
- You may find that Uralicans are quite formal compared to your garden-variety North American. But they are not nearly as formal as their Russian Republic neighbours! "Business casual" is daily fare for most Uralicans, and more or less everyone wears a trenchcoat in the cold season.
- In the summertime in southern Uralica, you will be more likely to see t-shirts and shorts, especially in the steppe-forests of southeastern Southeast Uralica, as well as Mordovia, most of Chuvashia, and southern Permski Rayon and Southeast Uralica.
- If you plan to partake in Uralican nightlife, err on the side of overdressing for the event, especially if you're going to a ball. (More on those later!) It is said that some of the world's best dressmakers are in Uralica, and that they sell their wares for half the price that they would go in most countries because they get so much business!
- Balls are all the rage in Uralica, with all cities over fifty thousand known to put on one per month! The Uralican record saw the initial ticket sales sell out so quickly that the City of Syktyvkar had to scramble to secure more venues. In the end, a single ball - the Founders' Day Ball on 20 May 2014 - sold over half a million tickets for around eight hundred thousand people, and had twenty-six different venues throughout the city, including Sysolastadion (home of SiPS and FK Syktyvkar), the Syktyvkar Convention Centre, the Tchaikovsky Bal'nyy, the Bolak Arena (home to HK Syktyvkar and RHK Syktykvar), and Central Park (the original intended venue)!
- Most holidays are joyous occasions. The main exceptions to this are:
- for all Uralicans, Memorial Day (28 March), Yom HaShoah (follows the Jewish calendar, typically in April or May), and Remembrance Day (23 September). These are holidays to reflect on the horrors of war and honour the victims of genocide.
- for Christians, Good Friday. (You should see how crazy the country goes on Easter, though!)
- for Jews, Yom Kippur.
- for all Uralicans, Memorial Day (28 March), Yom HaShoah (follows the Jewish calendar, typically in April or May), and Remembrance Day (23 September). These are holidays to reflect on the horrors of war and honour the victims of genocide.
- The traditions tend to follow the Western liturgical calendar in spite of the Eastern Orthodox influence on the Reformed Apostolic Church. As such, Christmas is December 25th. However, Eastern Christmas is celebrated as Epiphany in Uralica, also a day off work.
- There is at least one fixed-date statutory holiday in every month of the year save February, April, and June.
- 1 January - New Year's Day
- 7 January - Epiphany
- 18 March - Uralic Day
- 28 March - Memorial Day
- 20 May - Founders' Day
- 7 June - Labour Day
- 1 July - National Civic Holiday
- 26 August - Union Day (26 August 2015 was the day the Treaty of Moscow was ratified by the Uralican High Council).
- 23 September - Remembrance Day
- 18 October - St. Simon The Zealot Day (co-patron saint of Uralica per the Apostolic Church)
- 5 November - Dispersion Day (yes, they celebrate the end of the Robertian Era, and many other countries do as well!).
- 17 November - St. Elizabeth Day (co-patron saint of Uralica per the Apostolic Church)
- 25 December - Christmas Day
- 26 December - St. Stephen's Day
- 1 January - New Year's Day
- The non-fixed date holidays are almost exclusively religious in nature. Of these, only Good Friday, Easter Sunday, Purim, and Yom HaShoah/Holocaust Remembrance Day are statutory holidays for everyone, while Yom Kippur may become one (it is up for High Council vote). The only non-fixed date that isn't technically religious is Yom HaShoah.
- Apostolic Christians may request days off that are named in the Religious Accomodation Act of 2008.
- Here's a fun one - Protestants may request Reformation Day off! More on that later.
- Jews and Muslims are exempt from taking fixed-date Christian holidays off (and in the case of Muslims also Purim), but they may do so if they choose to.
- Jews are allowed to take their most important holidays off from work. Yom Kippur, which is an automatic holiday for a Jew, may become a national holiday in the same way that Purim already has (Purim's a relatively minor Jewish holiday, but it is also the time of year that Uralican Christians and Jews celebrate their own friendship while retelling the story of Esther!) but Jews are also automatically allowed to take off Rosh Hashanah, the first and last days of Passover, the first and last days of the Feast of Booths (Sukkot), and the Feast of Weeks (Shavuot). They may request off any other holiday denoted in the Religious Accomodation Act of 2008.
- Muslims are allowed to take their most important holidays off as well. Isra and Mi'raj, Laylatul Qadr, Eid al-Fitr, Eid-al-Adha, and the First of Muharram (Islamic New Year) are marked as days off for Muslims. While it is not forced to provide for the physical religious needs of Muslims (such as prayer mats, beads, halal food, etc.), Uralica does have in its constitution that businesses must accomodate for fasting Muslims during Ramadan in terms of time and/or reduced workload. They may request off certain other days as outlined in the Religious Accomodation Act in 2008.
- Many Uralican indigenous religions don't have their own pre-Uralica holiday, instead taking the national holidays off and using Uralic Day and Founders' Day as their primary celebratory days. The Marla Faith and other syncretistic belief systems follow the Apostolic liturgical calendar due to the Orthodox influence.
- Any other religion does not have a default day off but may request a day off within the framework of the Religious Accomodation Act of 2008.
- Apostolic Christians may request days off that are named in the Religious Accomodation Act of 2008.
- While not officially a day off work, October 31 is Reformation Day, and other than the giving of candy to kids (which tends to happen after evening church), it is very different from Halloween! If it falls on a Sunday, it is tradition for Christian pastors to preach from the books of Romans, Hebrews (chapter 11 in particular), or Habakkuk (chapter 2 in particular). Parades tend to feature effigies of some of the great Reformers, such as Martin Luther, Huldrych Zwingli, John Calvin, John Knox, William Tyndale, Menno Simons, and even proto-Reformers John Wycliffe and Jan Hus. The "Big Three" denominations get together at night and have a "good ol' fashioned hymn-sing!"
- Uralican Christmas tends to be less commercialised than in North America. Going overboard for Christmas is considered taboo - no cars or luxury goods are given; those are generally reserved for birthdays. A few smaller gifts are generally given, though. Christmas trees are restricted (if only by custom) to shopping malls and outdoor parks, although outdoor lighting displays are still common. More common is the three-day family dinner cycle from Christmas Eve to St. Stephen's Day, with church service afterwards the first two days (all three if you're Apostolic!) - while turkey is available in Uralica, ham is the much more common meat in the meal, and sometimes on St. Stephen's Day it will be chicken or roast beef. As is always the case in Uralica, at least one soup is served with dinner at this time of year.
- Besides being a symbol of Judaeo-Christian friendship in Uralica, Purim is generally a fun time. The story of Esther is read out, and whenever Haman is mentioned, people play graggers (Yiddish-style cog rattles) to drown out his name, or just boo loudly (the latter is a more Uralican habit). As with Reformation Day with Christians, Jews traditionally exchange sweet things on Purim. Although Muslims are exempt from celebrating the holiday, all but the most conservative do anyway most years!
Spammers Beware! I will destroy you by the POWAH of the JARK SIDE! ALL SPAMMERS WILL BE EXTERMINATED ON SIGHT.
Spammers EXTERMINATED: 120
(06-11-2022, 10:13 PM)Kyng Wrote: I love how [Abacab] has a track with a section named "Lurker", when the album title itself looks like Lurker's attempt to spell "Abacus" or something .
My Items