The Coffee House - Board Guidelines

Welcome to The Coffee House - we hope you enjoy your stay here. In order to enable other members to do the same, we ask you to adhere to the following very simple rules:

Adult and Prohibited content

Please do not post any of the following on this board (in roughly descending order of importance):

  1. Anything illegal (for example, anything that infringes upon copyrights or trademarks);
  2. Anything abusive, threatening, racist, supportive of terrorism, or inciteful of hatred;
  3. Anything excessively violent (beyond a PG-13 level), or anything which promotes or incites violence;
  4. Any pornographic, adult, or sexually-oriented content. Some 'borderline' examples (e.g. NSFW jokes) will be allowed to stay, provided that they are marked as such (e.g. contained within spoiler tags with an 'NSFW' heading);
  5. Nudity is, in general, not allowed, especially if sexually-oriented (see #3). However, if it's of a non-sexual nature and directly relevant to the topic at hand, we may make limited allowances for this on a case-by-case basis. For example, classical artworks (like the Statue of David) frequently depict nude figures in a non-sexual manner; images of these works will typically be permitted in threads immediately related to classical art. These should be spoilered too, though, and it's always best to ask first - especially if you're unsure!
  6. Anything knowingly false, defamatory, libellous, or invasive of privacy (as outlined in our Privacy Policy and Personal Data Protection Policy);
  7. Any information on how to scam or cheat people, or otherwise commit fraud;
  8. Any viruses, or other harmful computer software;
  9. Any information on illicit drugs. (Discussing the politics surrounding their legality is allowed; posting information on how to create or obtain them is not);
  10. Any credentials (e.g. passwords or CD-keys), or any information on hacking. (This includes information provided for the purposes of "ethical hacking": there's no way we can prevent its misuse by less scrupulous individuals :( )


Please only post if you have something to contribute to the discussion. In general, short messages are spam, but only because they're usually lacking in substance; when Candyguitar had a forum, one member even managed "y" as the shortest ever meaningful post!

It's also possible to write something really long with no real content.


Please don't insult, attack, or act in a provocative way towards other members. If anyone does flame at you, don't flame back; simply send a PM to one of the admins and they will handle it.


You are permitted to start topics in the "Your Sites and Forums" section to advertise any websites/forums that you may run, but this is limited to one topic per website/forum, and you must have 20 posts before starting an advertising thread. Beyond this, please do not post or send PMs advertising your website/forum to other members, unless it's intended to be helpful (or, in the case of a PM, with that person's implied/express consent), as otherwise it's a form of spamming.

You can, however, advertise freely in your profile and signature.

Articles and Links

When posting a news article, please do not copy and paste the entire article into your opening post. Instead, post a summary or an excerpt (preferably no more than a few lines), and leave a link to the rest of the article. This is for both copyright reasons and "tl;dr" reasons: a full explanation can be found here.

If you're cross-posting a thread that you found on another person's site, then it's recommended that you leave a link to their original thread on their board, so that they don't think you're stealing their content. However, please don't do this when cross-posting your own threads, or when cross-posting threads from your own board, as this gives the impression of advertising.

Images in posts

Any very large images (above 5MB or so) should not be posted directly on the main board (to save on loading times and mobile data). Instead, they should be posted as links (giving a clear indication of the file size).

Also, if you post a topic which contains (or is likely to contain) a lot of images, we recommend that you add a "[LOAD WARNING]" tag to the topic title.


While posting in topics that have been inactive for a certain number of days is banned on some forums, it is allowed throughout The Coffee House. However, it is usually inadvisable to do so in news forums, as this may confuse members into thinking that the old news is new again. Should an old news topic be revived, an "[OLD NEWS]" tag will be added in the topic title, in order to mark it as such.


Swearing is not prohibited, but don't go overboard with it. Cursing excessively for the sake of being foul-mouthed merely irritates other users.

Racial or ethnic slurs, such as the N-word, are not allowed at all unless the use is clearly contextual and not directed at another member (for example, when quoting Lil' Wayne's song lyrics as part of a legitimate discussion of his music).

Multiple accounts

Each member is allowed only one account; any subsequent accounts will be merged into the original on discovery. Also, if any offences have been committed on these accounts, the punishments for these offences will be applied to the original account.


You're welcome to include images in your signatures (including animated GIFs). However, please do not use animation effects that are likely to irritate other users (for example, blinking or flashing effects, or 'jump scares').

The visible height of a signature is limited to 350 pixels. There's no rule against exceeding this height; however, doing this will cause a vertical scrollbar to display in your signature (so, you can think of 350 pixels as a soft/recommended height limit).

Also, all text in signatures should be no greater than size 60:

Size 60

Name Changes

Here, there used to be a long and overly complex set of guidelines for name changes :P . Instead, they're now operated through the Name Change Shop.


If you post plot spoilers from a recently-released TV show, movie, book etc., then please post it within [spoiler] tags. The time period after release for which this is required varies according to medium, as follows:
  • TV shows: 2 days
  • Comics: 1 week
  • Movies: 2 weeks
  • Books and video games: 1 month
The "release date" will taken to be whenever the TV show/movie/etc. is out throughout the English-speaking world. For example, if a movie is released on 1st January 2018 in Australia and New Zealand; 2nd January in the UK and Ireland; and 8th January 2018 in the US and Canada, spoiler tags will be required until 22nd January 2018.

Note that this policy does not cover sporting events, as sports results are not considered to be 'plot spoilers'. However, if you have reason to believe that people here will be watching a sporting event on delay, then please extend courtesy to these users (for example, by posting the results in [spoiler] tags, and using topic titles which don't give away the result).

The above also applies to non-plot TV-related spoilers (such as Strictly Come Dancing results): they're not covered by the plot spoiler rules, but it's still polite to use [spoiler] tags, and definitely don't put the result in the topic title if you're posting it right after it's been announced.


Loop-holes in these guidelines must be reported to the Administrators on discovery so that they can be closed, and must not be exploited.

Basically, all this amounts to is "Have some common sense". Thank you for reading and following these rules - and have fun!

-The Coffee House staff team