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Do you feel ready for a relationship?
Nilla
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#11
04-04-2021, 07:44 PM
(04-04-2021, 07:11 AM)Lass of the long-white-cloud Wrote: Awwww, that's really sweet. And sad, but I'm just so happy you've found happiness! *Sends hugs* 

As for me.. Short answer: No.
It's hard enough to find some one who can put up with me as a friend, let alone anything more :P

Longer answer: I think I should wait till I actually have a life.. I don't want to get into a relationship, only for it to fall apart because we both are too busy with our own things to put time into a meaningful relationship.. There's also the fact that I'm quite young, and probably too young for it to work anyway, even if I did meet someone I'd want to spend my life with, I'd want to be best friends for a long time before even thining about pursuing romance. For now, I'm happy to wait, and live my life as a loner :P

That's actually very mature of you and I wish I had been that way. Also, we put up with you. If this place can put up with me, it can easily do so for you. :P Tim and I were best friends for years so I can totally understand why you would want that beforehand. It definitely makes it easier because you already know everything about that person.

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Moonshroom
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#12
04-04-2021, 07:50 PM
Not right now... poverty and pandemics push far more buttons than an eighties fighting game and it'd be misery for everyone involved.
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#13
04-04-2021, 07:52 PM
(04-04-2021, 07:50 PM)Rincewind Wrote: poverty and pandemics push far more buttons than an eighties fighting game

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#14
04-04-2021, 11:33 PM
(04-04-2021, 07:50 PM)Rincewind Wrote: Not right now... poverty and pandemics push far more buttons than an eighties fighting game and it'd be misery for everyone involved.

Also a valid point.
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#15
04-05-2021, 03:42 AM
(04-04-2021, 07:44 PM)Nilla Wrote:
(04-04-2021, 07:11 AM)Lass of the long-white-cloud Wrote: Awwww, that's really sweet. And sad, but I'm just so happy you've found happiness! *Sends hugs* 

As for me.. Short answer: No.
It's hard enough to find some one who can put up with me as a friend, let alone anything more :P

Longer answer: I think I should wait till I actually have a life.. I don't want to get into a relationship, only for it to fall apart because we both are too busy with our own things to put time into a meaningful relationship.. There's also the fact that I'm quite young, and probably too young for it to work anyway, even if I did meet someone I'd want to spend my life with, I'd want to be best friends for a long time before even thining about pursuing romance. For now, I'm happy to wait, and live my life as a loner :P

That's actually very mature of you and I wish I had been that way. Also, we put up with you. If this place can put up with me, it can easily do so for you. :P Tim and I were best friends for years so I can totally understand why you would want that beforehand. It definitely makes it easier because you already know everything about that person.

Ehhh... It's less mature and more learning from others' experiences.. I'm sorry to say I am not at all mature XD
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Nilla
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#16
04-05-2021, 05:27 PM
(This post was last modified: 04-05-2021, 05:28 PM by Nilla.)
(04-05-2021, 03:42 AM)Lass of the long-white-cloud Wrote:
(04-04-2021, 07:44 PM)Nilla Wrote:
(04-04-2021, 07:11 AM)Lass of the long-white-cloud Wrote: Awwww, that's really sweet. And sad, but I'm just so happy you've found happiness! *Sends hugs* 

As for me.. Short answer: No.
It's hard enough to find some one who can put up with me as a friend, let alone anything more :P

Longer answer: I think I should wait till I actually have a life.. I don't want to get into a relationship, only for it to fall apart because we both are too busy with our own things to put time into a meaningful relationship.. There's also the fact that I'm quite young, and probably too young for it to work anyway, even if I did meet someone I'd want to spend my life with, I'd want to be best friends for a long time before even thining about pursuing romance. For now, I'm happy to wait, and live my life as a loner :P

That's actually very mature of you and I wish I had been that way. Also, we put up with you. If this place can put up with me, it can easily do so for you. :P Tim and I were best friends for years so I can totally understand why you would want that beforehand. It definitely makes it easier because you already know everything about that person.

Ehhh... It's less mature and more learning from others' experiences.. I'm sorry to say I am not at all mature XD

And you think I am mature? ;) At least you learn. I've had issues with that.

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Cory
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#17
04-06-2021, 04:15 AM
(04-03-2021, 10:13 PM)Shiny Star Wrote: As much as that sucks, I think that relationships are a learning experience. A lot of people end up having their first relationships as a way to navigate and learn what co-existing with another person is. I think that they can be difficult as they are so complicated so don’t beat yourself up about that. It’s easy to push boundaries, especially with mental health and a lack of mutual communication in the picture. It takes time and I applaud your honesty.

Thank you for the kind words. Relationships are indeed a learning experience, but I really need to focus on self-improvement before I seek out a relationship because I have underlying issues with myself and often those around me. Relationships are indeed complex too, but I think that's mostly because humans are so complex. We are interesting creatures that have the ability to think and act on our own behalf and that can be a powerful thing. Sometimes we let the littlest of things bother us, down to the more major things that nearly everyone thinks about. I suppose communication and compatibility can be really important to learn from one another and build the bond to the greatest of lengths possible. Sometimes a relationship can go sour, but as long as you stay on the same page with your partner I think you can either continue to battle through your struggles or peacefully walk away.
 
(04-04-2021, 12:52 AM)Jarkko Wrote: That sounds a lot like me, but because of an incident in HS I usually don't push the envelope that hard. I did once almost six years ago, but that didn't end well, even though the woman and I eventually ended up friends. I honestly am at the point where I feel like I need to handle women with kid gloves simply because I hate being viewed as a monster, which I have been at times in the past - then again, I am also kind of clueless as to whether a woman is showing interest or not.
I'm going to be 38 in a month and a half, so I think it'll take a literal act of God (remember, this is a hardcore Christian you're talking to ;) ) for me to actually end up finding someone. But oh man, if it does happen, Y'ALL WILL HEAR ABOUT IT. :P

I too feel like I've been seen as a monster in most relationships I've tried to pursue, and possibly, rightfully so. The inexperience of never being in a relationship and not to mention the fact that I'm not much of a social person, to begin with, makes it difficult to find someone that is actually relationship-material, while others may be friendship-material. Learning from my mistakes though, friendship is certainly a must before you build onto that foundation to form a relationship.

Clueless is indeed the phrase I'd use in my own standing too, where I probably couldn't pick up cues of interest without them being directly verbalized to me. Little to no women even talk to me though and I suppose that's because they don't know what to say to someone that is mostly quiet. Socializing is something I've always needed to work on, I've had moments in life where I can sometimes socialize quite normally, but most of my life I overthink the things I say to others or just simply keep my thoughts to myself because I think no one would really care.
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#18
04-06-2021, 08:36 AM
I feel like there's always going to be things I'll look at myself and think "you need to get that sorted first", but for me at least I think that I would give it a try if someone wonderful came into my life. I'm at that stage where a lot of friends are either getting married or are in relationships, but I try not to let that cloud my own judgement on whether I'd be ready or not. I feel like it just takes the right person to come along, which hasn't happened for me yet (looking back on the girls I have asked out, all of them would have been very bad fits for me now!!)
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Lass of the long-white-cloud
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#19
04-09-2021, 01:04 AM
(04-05-2021, 05:27 PM)Nilla Wrote:
(04-05-2021, 03:42 AM)Lass of the long-white-cloud Wrote:
(04-04-2021, 07:44 PM)Nilla Wrote: That's actually very mature of you and I wish I had been that way. Also, we put up with you. If this place can put up with me, it can easily do so for you. :P Tim and I were best friends for years so I can totally understand why you would want that beforehand. It definitely makes it easier because you already know everything about that person.

Ehhh... It's less mature and more learning from others' experiences.. I'm sorry to say I am not at all mature XD

And you think I am mature? ;) At least you learn. I've had issues with that.

Well yes, to an extent. It takes a lot of maturity to say you've been wrong, and try to improve. I really respect that you can, an' do, do that.
And honestly, learning is hard, particularly when it's with something as emotionally draining as a romantic relationship...Maybe we should just go back to arranged marriages, that way you can leave all the looking inside yourself to your parents

(In case anyone misunderstood; the crossed out part was said in a joking manner)
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Shiny Star
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#20
04-09-2021, 11:57 PM
(04-06-2021, 08:36 AM)Pyrite Wrote: I feel like there's always going to be things I'll look at myself and think "you need to get that sorted first", but for me at least I think that I would give it a try if someone wonderful came into my life. I'm at that stage where a lot of friends are either getting married or are in relationships, but I try not to let that cloud my own judgement on whether I'd be ready or not. I feel like it just takes the right person to come along, which hasn't happened for me yet (looking back on the girls I have asked out, all of them would have been very bad fits for me now!!)

I like this mentality. If it happens then it happens but you want it to be meaningful and you won’t necessarily go out of your way to find that special person. I think there is a lot of pressure, especially as we get older or our peers have someone, to find someone. Dating for the sake of it is only fun up until a certain point imo. It’s good to reflect and see that maybe people who we could or did want in the past may not be good for us now.
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