Seeing your kids grow

[Rincewind]

I realize that this won't even be an issue for about 90% of the forum's membership, since you are all either teens/ young adults or really, really weird people that I'm ashamed to even be associated with (but good thing that that last part won't make it into the thread, because can you imagine the repercussions that that would... ) but I still felt like the topic was important enough to be made.

Now, I'm aware that I'm among the lucky few that can still actually see his kids grow, since we haven't been separated by that infuriating mess for export known as COVID-19, but I'm amazed by how little that matters in the grand scheme of things.

I'm also aware that this shouldn't be a painful experience at all, but it still is. In a way this is like seeing a beloved pet die... yes, it is an inevitable part of life and it does help you grow as a person, but it still stings. A lot. And it isn't funny how that feeling never truly goes away.

But anyway... the kids in question are six and four-years-old and it is soul-crushing to me how that combined decade went away in what honestly felt like a weekend's time. And I feel like it's only going faster now.

Things they used to be obsessed with have lost importance to the point of becoming a distant memory and it never quite stopped being shocking to me, despite knowing full-well that that was the only possible conclusion to this whole thing. That Peppa Pig DVD I bought two years ago and that it is actually badly worn because how often it was played will likely never be used again, and it has become some sort of "buoy" which floats aimlessly on the vast ocean of growth.

Furthermore, that Hero Battle mobile game they used to love playing on my phone has been forgotten about entirely by now, replaced by other --actually more "mature"-- things, and it is again very strange and even disheartening to me. I can't live in the past nor prevent the passage of time, but I wish I could frame existence into a single plain for a while, just to make it last longer. When the oldest one of these kids finishes learning how to read, I know the part I adored the most about seeing them grow will be lost, ready to be replaced by new challenges and ideas and a ton of fun new things to experiment, but I'm not sure I'm ready to move on just yet.

I know that those opposed to the clock moving forward will only get run over by it, taken along for a ride they don't wish to be a part of, but I guess that I really wanted a breather. In what I accurately described as feeling like a weekend at most, these kids have gone from being tiny beings living inside a crib to Elementary School students. And it is a very strange thing to consider, despite the fact that I love witnessing their growth and seeing what new things I will be able to help them through.

What about you, guys? Have any experience with the topic at hand? What are your thoughts on it?

[Kyng]

Well, you'd be surprised . We have quite a fair number of older members - and many of them have kids of their own .

As for me, this isn't something I have any experience of whatsoever. Still, if I ever do have kids (which I highly doubt will happen), then I can certainly see this happening with them. I know that my own interests changed quite erratically when I was their age: one day, I was into castles, then it was dinosaurs, then it was space. It wasn't really until I was about 10 years old that my interests became more stable - which must have been a relief to my parents !

(Of course, that's not to say I ever truly 'grew up'... I'm 29, and I still don't feel properly like an adult )

[Eremurus]

You guys have no idea how ashamed and angry I am deep down inside, the fact I'm too mentally ill to have children and properly raise them. I have more respect for parents than I did as a youth, especially single parents. 

Trust me, I *know* I am never having children. And that is disappointing, but ultimately, a good thing.

[Rincewind]

You guys have no idea how ashamed and angry I am deep down inside, the fact I'm too mentally ill to have children and properly raise them. I have more respect for parents than I did as a youth, especially single parents. 

Trust me, I *know* I am never having children. And that is disappointing, but ultimately, a good thing.

Believe me, I understand your anger perfectly, but that's nothing to be ashamed of. The fact that you acknowledge that it might not be for the best is very commendable indeed and a lot more than I can say about an alarming percentage of the species. 

I have met so many people who were utterly unprepared and unsuited to be parents and it not even once had a happy ending.

[Presumably Lady of Teeror]

Well, I don't have any children yet (Which is probably a good thing, since I'm slightly too young for that) but I have watched my siblings grow up and it feels unnatural to only have three young ones in the house now.
I have grown up quite a bit myself now and gone are the days when I looked at my parents as all knowing, wise and serious figures. Both Mum and Dad are now more like close friends than distant heroes, though I still consider them extremely heroic. (They would have to be, to raise me and see all of my mistakes and worst moments and still love me)

Honestly, yeah, growing up can be painful. There are so many opportunities lost and fun times gone. Looking back, there is so much you could have done or shouldn't have chosen that would make everything so much better now.
If you want to wallow in misery, it's very easy to do so, but it's also easy to look at it with joy and look ahead to what is to come.
Growing up is a wonderful adventure in which there are so many things to do. You can teach them and learn alongside them, introduce them to Redwall [afterthought](and other series, of course)[/afterthought], show them the joys of cooking or blowing stuff up. There's so much to do and, if you look at the fact that they're growing up as a bad thing, you won't have as much time to enjoy the life that you have.

And yeah, I've probably been rambling a bit, but oh well.