Mail Order Brides

[slooroo]

I think pretty much anyone knows what this (humorously technically outdated) term means but for reference traditionally it meant what it says, ordering a wife from an ad from a catalog but in the modern day people associate it by people marrying women, usually from third world countries, through a service online. It's a controversial subject in many regards. One person will say they know someone who did it and they have a healthy, happy, loving marriage. Another person will note the man is abusive to the woman and simply wants a woman he can control. A third may note the woman doesn't love the man but stays in it for citizenship to a first world country and better economic opportunities. Others even say the man is the one scammed in the end when the woman leaves, sometimes because she really did pre-plan tolerating it just to get her true love and her family a better life. So what do you think of the mail order bride concept? Is it wrong? Is it exploitative of women down on their luck? Is it a non-traditional but still viable way to find love? Does it even perhaps say something about the men or women involved in this whether they're the customer or the bride?

[Kyng]

I wouldn't consider it to be inherently immoral - and, I think it is possible for such marriages to work out.

With that being said, it doesn't sound like a very good recipe for producing happy, lasting marriages (even if that outcome can and does occasionally happen). There would be a massive 'power imbalance' in the marriage: if it doesn't work out for the groom, he can just get another mail order bride - but if it doesn't work out for the bride, then she's basically screwed and stuck in a completely foreign country. That's not a dynamic that's conducive to healthy relationships - and so, it's easy to see why they'd often turn abusive .

Certainly, it's not something I would ever do.

[Shiny Star]

One of my friend’s mums found his dad from a newspaper ad. It gave her the opportunity to move from poverty from her native country to London. I don’t think the marriage was always particularly a happy one but I don’t think she regrets it. I think that the most key thing is that the person who is getting married and is the mail order bride is of an age where she understands and has a say whether this happens or not. It shouldn’t be forced from the parents or someone significantly older than her.

[LadyJirachu]

Ordering a girlfriend seems cringe and kinda tbh disrespectful to me. I am a bit too feminist to really see this as an acceptable way to find a mate…o-0;;; well maybe. And me being a lipstick (aka girlie girl) feminist doesn’t change that for me much at all. I mean, yeah, maybe it can be set up like a dating app and interests and stuff can be stated and the like. Although….then there’s those who are just pretty girls who want more casual flings, too, which I am not totally against mind you since I am a hot girl myself (even if I would prefer real love and not just a fling)(and my same sex partner, who I am bonding with slowly, is pretty much the same type of type of person as me more or less). I mean, as long as no one is in an abusive relationship overall, this kind of thing is probably not a terrible idea. But like also paying for a partner and making it like a business transaction also like makes me feel kinda squirmy too. Us girls….like princess jasmine said, are not prizes to be won. But if it can turn into real love, than that can be really cool, and I am all for that.

so I guess fully I don’t really know what a feel about this. But I do have my feminist pride that’s all “noooo” about it all too. And that’s 100% valid.