Moral Dilemma Stories of Reddit/4chan

[Shiny Star]

I think it could be some cheater logic. Although most open relationships I’ve been aware of tend to have clear boundaries and communication from the get go - where if the other person isn’t happy about who you want to get with, they can specify why and that doesn’t go ahead. It can get pretty messy pretty quickly I would imagine if both aren’t on the same page. I’m into monogamy myself but I can see how some people would benefit from a poly situation. 

It’s iffy when the person who proposes it is against the other person getting with other people.

[slooroo]

This one isn't as dark but I thought it'd be interesting.



A guy gets a crush on an Iranian girl and decides to go on a strange quest to woo her by learning a bit of Farsi. To his amazement it actually works and she seems to respond well to it, even bringing him homemade Iranian food for him to try and making a hint that she's willing to date him but he fumbles and asks an awkward question that kills the mood. Now he's panicking and wondering if he can save the situation.

I'll say OP was playing a bit of a dangerous game dropping Farsi around on a girl who may or may not have much connection to her ethnic homeland but hey big ups to him for showing an interest in her culture which seemed to please her. That said he just choked and made the moment awkward, I don't think it's really the end of the world. If she went out of her way to cook him homemade food (or begged her family to) then she clearly has interest. He just needs to talk to her and admit his feelings and if she asks about the incident just say he fumbled out of nervousness. She might say no after this incident but I think it's far more salvageable than he thinks.

[Shiny Star]

I agree, it’s not completely ruined. I think that prolonging this and not opening up the conversation may cause more hurt in the long-run. It’s not easy to open up conversations like these but they’re necessary and shouldn’t be avoided.

[slooroo]

I actually found this one last night seconds after the last one and it was interesting



Anon's girlfriend comes up to him and tells him that her friend desperately needs a last minute model for his photography course in college and while she said the shots may be "glam" it isn't too serious. He is a bit surprised that his usually kind of bashful girlfriend agreed to this but he decides he doesn't want to make a stink since she's trying to help her friend. So the two meet up with the friend and anon relaxes off to the side while the photo shoot is going on until it goes a direction he didn't expect: suddenly she strips naked and is doing nude photography. His awkwardness levels increases and he even starts wondering if the guy is trying to sneak in creep shots of his girlfriend. Finally in an awkward outburst he makes himself and his girlfriend leave.

So both sides do make a major error to me. It seems clear to me that the girlfriend REALLY underplayed the level of sensuality this photoshoot would have. Even if you argue that she didn't know herself until the day of you would think she would ask her boyfriend if he's okay with it. It's fine to be comfortable doing something like that yourself but in a relationship you should take your partner's feelings in mind with something like this. On the other hand I hope anon realizes noting he took his own creep shot or two just makes him sound as weird as the photographer he was mad at. As for whether the photographer is a creep would be hard to say. Artist types can be a bit weird anyway so whether he was excited from a sexual perversion persuasion or it could just be him admiring the girlfriend's natural aesthetics.

[Shiny Star]

The nakedness definitely should have been discussed before because that’s a no go for a little of people. The guy isn’t at fault as he wanted to help his girlfriend but I feel like the friend or the girlfriend should have had more details to give him otherwise you wouldn’t expect it to take that turn. I’m glad he left when he got uncomfortable.

[slooroo]

While this one is really close to another I posted it varies a bit so I'll post it anyway



Anon is dating a woman for seven years and as far as he can tell the relationship has been perfect and he's ready to pop the question. He notices she hesitates (but says yes) which he finds odd then finds it odder when her family acts even stranger about it. One day he returns home to find her bags packed and she tells him that she isn't bisexual but lesbian and is leaving. He's completely crushed by this, especially in the months after as everyone in his social circle treats his now ex as a hero for embracing her lesbianism while no one checks in on him, even despite him ending up hospitalized multiple times from the emotional stress of the breakup. He comes to be genuinely resentful of everyone due to this.

I think my biggest issue is I can't help but notice the girlfriend said "her parents have known she's a lesbian for two years." I find this comment really odd. If she KNEW she was a lesbian then she should've said something two years ago and ended the relationship then instead of letting it reach to this point. Now that doesn't mean she should've forced herself to stay in it to appease anon because that obviously wouldn't work but she clearly shouldn't have let him reach the point of popping the question (and saying yes to him?) if she knew this. Unfortunately for anon I feel he's in some ways the victim of a certain societal blindness we have right now. It's great people have been very supportive of the girlfriend to embrace what she truly is but it IS messed up that no one stops to consider how emotionally wrecked anon has to be for a relationship that has almost lasted a decade to just implode like this. Now that said I'm confused why anon thought his ex's family would check in on him but it's fair to feel betrayed by friends who aren't checking in on him, even after his hospitalizations. His best bet is going to be 1. A LOT of therapy to help him move on and 2. He may genuinely want to consider some drastic life changes like making a whole new circle of friends that aren't from the circle he shares with his ex because it's clear hearing about her all the time is only making him collapse over and over.

[Shiny Star]

I can get why he may expect the ex’s family to check up on him, however their loyalty is to her and I don’t think that would help his healing process long-term. Unfortunately stuff like this can happen as people grow and understand their sexuality more, however I do think that this conversation should have come a lot earlier than it did. I get that she may have found it difficult to end such a long-term relationship but he deserves to be happy, find someone and not have his time wasted. I agree that he needs more support.

[slooroo]

This one is a bit different



An anon decides that he's really curious if life is easier or harder for women over men so he decides to ask three female friends for their opinion. The first believes women have it harder due to society expecting them to look pretty, not being taken seriously in the work force, and feel a constant pressure to be perfect. She also notes the issues of sexism. His next two female friends however believe life is easier for women over men and note factors such as more opportunities in life simply by using looks and feminine charm to woo men and note they don't envy men who are always expected to be successful breadwinners and never show their emotions. The second friend in particular views life as a game and that womanly charms makes it easier. Now anon isn't sure what to think.

Anon has discovered the ancient question of "Is it harder to be a man or a woman?" and is learning the answer of there is no true complete answer. In many regards men have it way easier than women and in some ways have it way harder than women. Vice versa women have many things easier than men but also many things harder than men. So obviously if you ask any man or woman their opinion the answers will vary greatly. Perhaps in some ways the issue is it's difficult for men and women to explain these advantages and issues to each other because it's experiences foreign to the other and worse both can be guilty of not wanting the conversation at all when perhaps it'd be more productive as a society if we did. If anon gains anything from this I hope it's that perhaps he'll understand the experiences of a woman just a tiny bit better, both the good and bad.

[Shiny Star]

I genuinely think that overall women still have it harder than men. I do agree that pretty privilege does exist, however pretty privilege does not apply to all women. Pretty privilege still has quite patriarchal roots too.  Women used to not be able to work or vote and now that they can work, they’re still expected to do considerably more household and childcare duties than men. In employment, women tend not to be at top roles as the glass ceiling is too real. Women’s gynae health is not taken seriously and is under recognised and researched. Women don’t feel safe walking in the dark and straight men are often emotionally unavailable for women. Then if you look at other non-Western societies where women still don’t have rights, men are allowed to have multiple wives legally, and can be blamed if her husband cheats on her. 

Men do have some issues that women don’t experience, such as struggling to show emotions and body image issues (being muscley, but women who aren’t even fat are called fat as an insult). Some men also may be against attacking a woman but not attacking a guy (based on my experience). Look at media headlines and the sexism there. Who set the system up? Men. So yeah, I think it is important to recognise that both men and women have different struggles - however the average woman definitely has it harder.

I do rate this guy for speaking to different girls to learn about their experiences and educate themselves. I do think that women will also benefit from understanding guys too.

[slooroo]

Had a dry spell on good ones but I seen this one today



Anon finally finds the love of his life but it also means learning to be a stepfather, a role he never thought he'd have to learn because he wasn't that interested in kids. To his surprise however he quickly bonded with his new stepdaughter, having a tight relationship with her. As she becomes a teenager this hasn't changed and he's supportive of her but suddenly he notices his wife isn't. His stepdaughter is fond of darker colors and interests and while not a social butterfly does have a small circle of friends she's happy with. His wife however finds this unacceptable, wanting essentially a replica of herself at that age: social butterfly, girly girl, super into cheerleading, boy crazy, and bright colors. She keeps trying to force her daughter to mold into this but it doesn't work, instead only driving the daughter into reclusion, refusing to talk to her mother. Anon isn't sure what to do since he fears taking sides.

The simple answer in theory would be taking the stepdaughter's side. She should have the right to be her own person with her own interests and not be something she isn't to appease her mother. In theory her mother should accept that her daughter will never be a clone of her. In reality I wonder if anon's fear is deeper. Often times in these sorts of situations if anon supports the stepdaughter the wife may instantly use the "You're not the REAL dad!" line despite the biological father not being in the picture at all and anon having helped raise this girl since age 5.  In fact I wonder if his fear is the wife going haywire and demanding a divorce to try to break the bond he's built with his stepdaughter. Ideally family therapy would be used here but I again fear the wife might not be receptive if she's so determined to force her daughter to be something she isn't.