Moral Dilemma Stories of Reddit/4chan
#11
I forgot to save this one (rip) but it was on 4chan and so short I have it to memory.

A guy is dating a girl and he's 100% happy with the relationship except for one thing: her hygiene. He indicates he has some level of issue with how she smells and also notes he wishes she would groom her privates better (he even says he isn't expecting her to be clean shaven or anything but simply for it to be better groomed because it would make sexual intimacy a lot easier for both of them.) The issue is he feels awkward about approaching the subject so he decides to try "subtle" attempts to suggest it but when he does this she begins crying, thinking he's being mean to her out of the blue. He backtracks the "jokes" he tells, promising her it was a bad joke and he won't do it again.

Anon my friend the answer is you're going to have to swallow your nerves and just be honest with your girlfriend. Quit making the "subtle" "jokes" and just be kind but honest about her current hygiene regiment and how it makes it harder for you to be sexually intimate and other things. It may hurt her feelings for a moment but she'll appreciate the mature honesty over this weird roundabout method.
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#12
I agree at this point he needs to be upfront and honest about it. Otherwise it can be perceived as he is being mean to her. It is an awkward thing to bring up but healthy communication is about this and it is a fixable issue.
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#13
This one I wanted to share a bit different angle



In this story a girl has a fight with her boyfriend and she starts yelling at him. He's quiet. Initially it makes her angrier and she yells louder, only for more quietness. Finally she starts feeling stupid and guilty and hugs him, apologizing. That's when she realizes he's crying and keeps apologizing to her over and over. It dawns on her how much he's been bottling up his emotions and feels awful, encouraging him to let it out. She feels awful she never really considered his feelings in this way before.

To give the girl some credit unfortunately this guy does what many of us men do. It's considered weak and shameful to be emotional and we're often told by our dads and other male figures to suck it up, shut up, be a man, and so on. It's like a toxic form of stoicism where you're supposed to have a calm outside at all times even if on the inside you're depressed and hurting. It even extends into relationships because many women are basically told to enforce this very thing on men as well, not wanting to be seen with a "weak" man. Even if it the girlfriend is a bit late in seeing this I guess better late than never and she does do the right thing in encouraging her boyfriend to let it out and not see him less for it. It also seems to make her realize she should take his feelings into consideration too when they have these arguments. presumably because before she probably said very hurtful things over and over only for him not to react to it. I pray this leads to a healthier relationship for them both.
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#14
Anger is one of those emotions that can be harder to control and navigate. You would hope that the communication was stronger between them that it wouldn’t escalate to that point. However, I get that sometimes there are barriers to this. If she is shouting like that it does make me wonder what her communication is like generally and if this is a common occurrence. It’s hard to see but I do get why she got angry. Hopefully this opened up their communication and brown down a barrier.
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#15
This one has a similar vein to some past ones but it's worth sharing



An anon has been married for ten years and while he (presumably) still loves his wife he's no longer attracted to her physically like he was when she was younger. This has caused him to be unable to perform in the bedroom and in a desperate attempt to avoid hurting his wife's feelings he tells her that he has erectile dysfunction. His wife becomes immediately sympathetic and feels terrible for him but she also overshares it, telling practically everyone. Now anon is going mad from everyone constantly bringing it up but he feels he can't tell the truth now because it'll only make everything worse.

I get why anon choked. It's clearly a difficult subject to approach, especially since in his own words his wife is pretty comfortable with how she looks now but he can't find her attractive. The issue is lying was not the answer either. Sure I do think his wife is way oversharing such sensitive information (99% of men would feel humiliated if their wife was telling practically everyone that he has erectile dysfunction) but he also brought this on himself in the first place. He only has two real options. He can suffer in his own silent hell that he created himself but I suspect if he does he may come to resent his wife or he can tell the truth, knowing this is going to cause a lot of problems because he's going to have to tackle the fact he's been lying first and still have to discuss his actual problems second. This might be a great case where he should look into marriage therapy and sex therapy both. The marriage therapy he'll need if he ever wants to escape this lie without completely destroying his marriage and the sex therapy to see if there's any way for the two to have a sex life together without putting any uncomfortable demands on each other.
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#16
I am of the same opinion as you. I don't think he should've lied about it in the first place but I understand that it was meant to be more of a white lie than anything. She shouldn't have gone around sharing that information as it breaks trust but this would need a mediator now. It is hard as those feelings he can't help as bodies change and we grow over time. But if you love someone you put the work in and have healthy communication.
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#17
This one is kinda long so I'll short it the best I can



A man is close to marriage with his girlfriend. After she attends her friend's wedding however she's suddenly depressed. The man discovers her issue is that she's come to finally accept her bisexuality and wants to explore that side of herself. The man agrees on the condition that the wedding is postponed and out of fairness he's allowed to also date people while she's doing this. She instantly shuts down, angry at the idea that he would demand such a thing, not really seeing the irony of her wanting to explore her sexuality but he isn't allowed to do the same. From these arguments (and friends semi-ratting her out) he begins to believe his wife cheated on him with another woman while at the wedding (she does confess to kissing a woman but denies anything else.) They attempt therapists but therapy actually makes it worse when a very pro-LGBT activist therapist instantly takes his girlfriend's side on everything and refuses to see his point of view. Once the man postpones the wedding (against her wishes) she begins backtracking, claiming she's willing to not explore that side of herself if he puts the wedding back on but by this point between the lies and fears that his girlfriend is just going to end up unhappy and cheat on him again anyway to still try to explore her bisexuality he finally ends the relationship, especially when he discovers further evidence that she might still be cheating.

I understand the man's point of view on he emphasizes with how his girlfriend lived in a very conservative household and it took this long in her life to come to terms with being bisexual. I see a lot of stories where someone has struggles to know what to do when their partner comes out as LGBT (and what that could mean for their relationship.) That said I feel like the man was also being insanely gracious with his initial offer. All he was really asking is that if she wants to explore that's fine but it should be an open relationship and they have equal opportunities. Why a lot of these Reddit stories end up having someone thinking they deserve a free pass to date other people but their partner doesn't is beyond me. As the fights continue he's even gracious in saying they temporarily break up and after awhile once his girlfriend has had her exploration and knows what she wants better they could always get back together again and start over if that's what she truly wants. The thing is however she lost any real moral ground when she cheated on him and I really don't blame the guy for realizing that if he went on to marry this woman the cheating would likely only continue as she wants to have her cake and eat it too. Discovering that she's bisexual was not suddenly grounds to blatantly cheat on her partner. I think he made the right move to end the relationship because it's clear his girlfriend doesn't know what she wants.
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#18
I think he was pretty open-minded and supportive about it. It makes sense that if she is with other people then he should get the chance to too. However, he has explored women and found who he wanted. She hasn’t explored women yet so although yes it’s a fair match, I also think it’s not as she is wanting to seek something ‘different’. I don’t think that excuses her cheating. It reminds me a bit of Shane Dawson. He was in a long-term relationship with a woman and they broke up so he could explore his bisexuality with men. If he isn’t comfortable with the idea and they can’t meet eye to eye with it then she either needs to shut down the idea or break up with him - it depends on how important it is for her. 

I have had two friends who had girl x girl things. In both situations the man was aware of it. One of my friends had the option for the guy to be involved but shut it down.
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#19
I guess one area I'll go a bit further is that I see this trick in a lot of Reddit stories that this one features where a person cheats then tries to demand an open relationship after. Sometimes I feel like they see this as a way to retroactively justify cheating or something. The issue is even IF the partner says "Okay we're an open relationship now" you still did it before that agreement and still cheated and broke trust. They often times also seem to think open relationship means "I get to date/sleep with anyone I want but you're not allowed to" which isn't an open relationship at this point but some sort of cuckolding relationship and unless a person has a fetish for that almost no one wants to be in that situation. Why in the world these stories feature these two issues a lot is beyond me. Is it some cheater logic?
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#20
(11-29-2024, 10:56 PM)slooroo Wrote: I guess one area I'll go a bit further is that I see this trick in a lot of Reddit stories that this one features where a person cheats then tries to demand an open relationship after. Sometimes I feel like they see this as a way to retroactively justify cheating or something. The issue is even IF the partner says "Okay we're an open relationship now" you still did it before that agreement and still cheated and broke trust. They often times also seem to think open relationship means "I get to date/sleep with anyone I want but you're not allowed to" which isn't an open relationship at this point but some sort of cuckolding relationship and unless a person has a fetish for that almost no one wants to be in that situation. Why in the world these stories feature these two issues a lot is beyond me. Is it some cheater logic?

Cheater logic usually involves manipulation so... 

It boils me that they use it to justify cheating
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