Concept Thirty Years War children’s picture book

[JHG]

So since there’s a horror movie and game about Winnie the Pooh, how about try the opposite? A dark, serious, terrifying, blood drenched story adapted into…a children’s picture book. In this case, it’s the Thirty Years War. 

How would this even work?

[Kyng]

Well, obviously, they'd have to tone down all the violence . And probably change the names of all the protagonists. So, perhaps there's a teddy bear based very loosely on Ferdinand II; another teddy bear based very loosely on Frederick V; and a bunch more teddy bears based very loosely on their allies... and they're all having a food fight instead of a bloody war .

At the very least, it'd have to be as different from the real-life Thirty Years' War as The Lion King is from Hamlet, despite perhaps being vaguely based on it.

[JHG]

Sure but if Cardinal Richelieu shows up, expect someone to bring up the Three Musketeers.

[Kyng]

Sure but if Cardinal Richelieu shows up, expect someone to bring up the Three Musketeers.

I'm curious as to what this story's equivalent of musketeers would be .

Perhaps teddy bears that throw balls of candy at people, on the basis that candy balls are a bit like musket balls ?

[JHG]

I was thinking paintball guns or squirt guns but maybe slingshots would work too?

[Kyng]

I was thinking paintball guns or squirt guns but maybe slingshots would work too?

Yeah, any of those would probably work... probably squirt guns would have the highest humour factor, but you could probably get some good jokes out of the others too .

[JHG]

I’m betting thistle still be worse than Blood & Honey. Teddy bears in a food fight? Gustavus Adolphus as a moose and getting knocked out from a pile of meatballs? At least it might encourage interest in the real Thirty Years War.

[Kyng]

I’m betting thistle still be worse than Blood & Honey. Teddy bears in a food fight? Gustavus Adolphus as a moose and getting knocked out from a pile of meatballs? At least it might encourage interest in the real Thirty Years War.

Well, it is pretty goofy .

It won't impress adults (or even older kids) - but if the target audience is younger kids, then perhaps they'll eat it up!

[JHG]

I had to reference the real Gustavus Adolphus’ death somehow and meatballs looked like the best choice.
Also, he’s a moose because meese are to Sweden as lions are to Britain.

[JHG]

Wonder if there should also be teddy bears based on Mustafa I, Murad IV, Osman II, Ibrahim, Abbas I, Safi, and Abbas II to incorporate the Ottoman-Safavid War as well.