Dinner dates dying out?

[Kyng]

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle...inner-date

It is an unusual option for a January date, but after meeting twice, 42-year-old Sasha thinks she is ready to take things to the next level with the man she has just started seeing. She is planning to take him for a sea swim near her home in East Sussex, followed by a beachside sauna. “I’m just putting it out there: here’s my body. It’s not the body I had when I was 20 but it is what it is.”

They have chatted a lot, first online and then in person, but have never been out to dinner together. “Oh no, I would never go out for dinner with anyone. It’s just so intense and awkward. If someone asked me out for dinner or the cinema, I know they’re not for me.” Asking someone to dinner is “unimaginative and boring”, says Sasha (not her real name). “I just think: snore alert.”

She may, she admits, be unusual in her choice of date venues, but she is not alone in shunning dinner. Whether for financial reasons, the pressure of time or because today’s daters want something more daring, dinner dates, it seems, are dead.

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I dunno... I still enjoy going out for dinner with Opal Fruit . But I feel like that's kind of different: we knew each other for a couple of years before we met in person for the first time. Going out for dinner with someone I don't even know, on the other hand, just seems super awkward to me.

What about you?

[Shiny Star]

Ehhh, I don’t think a first date should ever be the cinema or dinner. It can be awkward eating in front of someone for the first time and watching a movie doesn’t allow much conversation. I prefer a walk, an activity or a drink. I do like dinner dates once I’ve met up with the person a few times, can feel intimate and it’s cute to pay for each other.

[Moonshroom]

I'm super uncomfortable with going out for dinner with someone I barely know.

Having to watch my manners to perfection in order to cause the all too important good first impression just ruins it for me.

[Kyng]

Ehhh, I don’t think a first date should ever be the cinema or dinner. It can be awkward eating in front of someone for the first time and watching a movie doesn’t allow much conversation. I prefer a walk, an activity or a drink. I do like dinner dates once I’ve met up with the person a few times, can feel intimate and it’s cute to pay for each other.

Yeah, those are probably better options. An activity you both enjoy is probably the best... even if you don't enjoy the other person's company, you can at least enjoy the activity !

[Moonshroom]

Last time I went on a date we sat on the grass and started munching on chocolate like a pair of hungry wolves.

That would have been SO unsightly in a restaurant XD

[Uncrowned Guard]

In many ways, I'd say that dinner dates are fading away and that is a bit of a good thing.  To me, going and doing something that the two of you should enjoy together is much better to judge a person than forcing everyone to sit at a table and talk.  There are also huge changes in cultural norms that can make dinners confusing for both parties as the days of the guy paying for everything or getting dressed up are not set in stone and without knowing how people handle these changes, it can lead to problems on the first date.

[LadyJirachu]

What’s scary to me about dinner dates is the amount of eye contact they contain.

I really would rather just like go to a movie or something myself tbh which is why overall I prefer just being super close to my friends cos they are fun for stuff like going to the movies too

But that’s all just my views and everyone is different. No judgement here from me. I promise

[Shiny Star]

Last time I went on a date we sat on the grass and started munching on chocolate like a pair of hungry wolves.

That would have been SO unsightly in a restaurant XD

This is exactly why I dislike going for meals sometimes. I like to eat with my hands or talk with my mouth open sometimes ahahaha.

[SpookyZalost]

Bah, I had a decent relationship with my ex, still do as close friends but it started with a lunch date.  I paid for it.  Insisted even despite having found out my parrot had died the same day.  We went for a little ng walk in a nearby park afterwards.

She paid for the next one insisting on that and we'd often go dutch.

I think people are just overthinking things.  A first date doesn't have to be formal.  Just be casual, think less about putting on a mask because that defeats be the purpose of the first few dates which is to better know your potential romantic partner.

Saying that, I can count on one hand the number of significant others I've had.  But each one was important in helping me open up, to them, to myself.  And I cannot understate how foolish forcing a specific impression is.  Eat using appropriate utensils unless you're eating finger food, sure.  Show a little bit of common sense like swallow before you make conversation.  And for Gods sakes don't forget rule #7 guys.  Be polite and hold the door.  As well as rule #8 keep yourself between them and the street.

Yeah yeah I know it's dated but most people appreciate the thought at least.  Just don't be an ass and try to be subtle.  Trust me, they'll notice but it doesn't need to be acknowledged.  It's not about projecting an image.  It's showing that they matter just a little bit and that you've taken an interest.

If you do go over the top or try to be something you aren't though it won't bode well and you won't enjoy things long term.  You're not a spy playing a role!

Save that stuff for important times like an anniversary or something when it makes sense.

[Cory]

The one and only date I've been on my entire life was a dinner date. I think it was pleasant, but to be honest, this was like 4 years ago and I don't even remember all the aspects of it. She did make a comment to a friend that told me what she said, being that she thought I cut my steak too rough. I thought that was an odd comment to make. You do feel like you have to watch yourself and put on a good impression with all the mannerisms and "guidelines" of going on a date. I don't like the thought of putting on an act just to impress someone or make them like me, this is one reason I will probably continue to remain single.

Overall, I think dinner dates are decent, but engaging in something more unique that you both enjoy could really build that sense of connection.