Fake TCH History Contest

[Nilla]

As you probably know by now, The Coffee House turned 12 years old this week. Over the course of those years, there are plenty of things that have happened in the community. But there are also plenty of things that didn't happen, but would have been very funny if they had happened . So, here's a place to post your own made-up 'events' from TCH's history - and remember to make them as amusing as you can!

Before we get started, a couple of rules:

 

• Your events must be fake. That is, you can't post anything that actually happened in TCH's history (if you're unsure, I'll let you know whether your thing happened ).
  
• Each entry must be your own original idea. (For example, if somebody posts "Nilla signed up because she was bored of Starbucks", then you can't post "Jarkko signed up here because he was bored of Tim Hortons", because that's just copying the first person's idea)
  
• Each entry must be 20 words or shorter.
  
• You may submit up to three entries, but only one entry per person will count towards the final results.
  
• The contest closes on Sunday, 12th December 2021. At this point, a poll will be started, and the prizes will be as follows:
  • 1st place: 500 Coffee Credits (+ a Green Ribbon, if at least 3 people enter, and the winner is at least 2 votes ahead of the second-placed entry);
    
  • 2nd place: 250 Coffee Credits
    
  • 3rd place: 100 Coffee Credits
    

Good luck, everybody!

By the way, this was written by Kyng  and not me.

[Kyng]

Guess I should enter .

Nilla only signed up here because Hermaeus Mora commanded her to do so.

[Nilla]

Growing bored of grating cheese, Jarkko decided to join the forum to exterminate spammers with his cheese grater instead.

[Terminotter]

Nilla decided that she wanted to join because Kyng was on, and he decided to make it because his vacuum died.

[JHG]

JHG wrote a cool Twilight reimagining with gorillas replacing the vampires.

[Pyrite]

Jarkko and Kyng are secretly the same person using two separate accounts.

[Jarkko]

Kyng made this site looking to recruit people to join The Order of Light in Cyber Nations. But when he left that alliance for CSN he changed his recruitment focus.

[Shiny Star]

Jarkko and Kyng are secretly the same person using two separate accounts.

Nah this one got me I don’t know why. 

Shiny Star bought a microwave that a spambot advertised.

[Moonface]

The forum was originally called The Tea House but the American coffee loving majority of members demanded a name change.

[Tiger Eyes]

Nilla recruited me to join after telling me everyone would be wearing Ghostface costumes.